This topic was delivered by Habib Muhammad as-Saggaf in Regents Park Mosque (London) on 15th October 2011.
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate
All praise to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. And salutations and greetings upon our Master Muhammad and upon his family and companions.
I intend to study and teach, take and give a reminder, take and give benefit, take and give advantage, to encourage the holding fast to the book of Allah and the way of his messenger, and calling to guidance and directing towards good hoping for the countenance of Allah and His pleasure, proximity and reward, transcendent is He.
RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] knew Allah (Exalted is He) in the best way; he knew how to praise Allah (Exalted is He) in the best of ways; Allah has opened for this ummah (nation) many doors of happiness, foremost amongst them being the sending to us of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam]. RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] guided all his family to the closeness to Allah.
Allah, (Exalted is He), created us all from one self. Then He, (Exalted is He), made us into numerous nations and tribes, with all their variations, be it between males and females, rich and poor, healthy and sick, and many others. These differences we see, in the form of races and characteristics, however, do not have a bearing on our closeness to Allah (Exalted is He); our closeness to Allah is not at all dependent on these differences.
A woman came to him [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam], saying, “I’m unable to go on Hajj, as we only have one animal.” He replied to the approximate effect of: “The matter isn’t as you think; you can also reach the levels of the rich man by merely smiling or making dhikr (remembrance of Allah), or any other good is a form of charity.”
He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] explained to the women that their jihad (struggle and striving) was in their homes, and about raising good families. He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] thus set a day aside for teaching them.
Today, we will learn the best way to worship Allah (Exalted is He) is to fulfil the rights of the moments that we are in.
Superiority is not by external appearances. This is what the Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] taught us.
Who is superior, the poor man or the rich man? The poor man has responsibilities attached to his poverty; the rich man, similarly, has responsibilities attached to his prosperity. The poor one needs to be patient and content with the state that he finds himself in. On the other hand, the rich man needs to be thankful and more charitable. In this situation, if they both have ten rights in their current state and the poor fulfils seven of them but the rich fulfils five then the poor is better and vice versa.
The above applies to a healthy and sick person and to a woman and man.
A question that comes up continuously is: Who is more superior, the man or woman?
The very question is fundamentally wrong as we are all humans, but with various variations. If she has fulfilled her rights she is better – it is about who has fulfilled their rights, in the best way possible. Focus on fulfilling the rights and responsibilities rather than on the differences.
When Allah (Exalted is He) created Adam (alayhis-salam), He (Exalted is He) created Hawwa (Eve) from Adam (alayhis-salam), so this creation was without a mother. Isa (alayhis-salam) was without a father. In one case the creation is from a man and the other from a woman. Allah (Exalted is He) says in the Qur’an that the example of Isa (alayhis-salam) is like Adam (alayhis-salam). We can see that Allah creates a balance in this world.
What is the responsibility of this woman, in terms of her link with Allah (Exalted is He)?
He (Exalted is He) has told of us Sayyidah Maryam (may Allah be pleased with her). She was the result of the prayer of her mother. One of the greatest responsibilities of a mother is that she makes great men of this nation. This is because Allah (Exalted is He) has placed strong love and mercy for her son, which is not to be found in a man. When she prays for her son, it is with much more sincerity. When the son is sick, the father says. ‘Give the child medicine’, then goes to sleep; not the mother, though, as she has warmth in her heart due to this love and mercy. She prays all night for shifa (a cure)!
Umm Maryam (Hana) was old in age, and one day she saw a bird taking food to her children. When she saw this, she said: ‘The way you have blessed this bird, bless me with a son.’ She thus became pregnant. It was the most precious thing in the world to her, yet she said, ‘this child in my womb, I don’t want it for me but for You.’ This covenant took immense strength. She said that she would gift it for Allah (Exalted is He) so that it could serve the Bayt al Maqdis (Masjid al-Aqsa). This women broke the strongest bone of the love of her child, and made it for Allah. When she gave birth she said, ‘Allah, I have given birth to a daughter and named her Maryam. I seek refuge in you and I seek refuge for my offspring.’
If anyone does what Umm Maryam did with her child, then the child will be from the greatest in their nation.
Allah (Exalted is He) did not say a man is superior to the women because in this case how is a man different? She wanted to give birth to a son so he could serve Bayt al Maqdis. It wasn’t easy for a daughter, so she said that her wish wasn’t fulfilled – she wanted a son who would serve, and thus assumed her intention was insincere. Allah (Exalted is He) said: ‘Man is not like woman.’ This meant, the man is not like the girl that I have gifted you. I have gifted you a Siddiqah (highest rank of sainthood) and she will come with a male who will conquer the world. Allah (Exalted is He) fulfilled all her intentions.
We will also, as the nation of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] in the last days, wait for this prayer of Hana. When the Dajjal will rise, we will wait for the prayer of Hana to emerge. She rescued the world twice by saying that I don’t want anything to do with this most precious thing in my womb – I’ll gift it in your service.
The four things that Umm Maryam did:
1. She asked Allah to accept what was in her womb.
2. She gave her a beautiful name, Maryam, which means a slave of Allah (Exalted is He).
3. She had a good intention and wanted to devote her child for Allah.
4. She sought refuge in Allah and sought protection for her offspring from Shaytan.
Allah (Exalted is He) accepted it in the most beautiful of ways. She asked Allah (Exalted is He) to accept and He (Exalted is He) accepted in the most beautiful and generous way. He (Exalted is He) brought a good plant and nothing could be seen as a bad characteristic. She was a beautiful woman.
One of the Prophets by the name of Zakariya (alayhis-salam) was her guardian and he provided her with constant sustenance. Everytime he would find food with her she would say that it is from Allah. The fruits of summer came to her in winter and the fruits of winter came to her in summer. This was happening to her at the age of six.
Allah (Exalted is He) said, “Hana you have gifted me what is in your womb and I will take care of it in the best of ways.”
She was protected from Shaytan due to her mother seeking refuge in Allah (Exalted is He) for herself and for her offspring. Shaytan couldn’t reach her in her entire life and this was from the strength of a woman turning to Allah (Exalted is He) completely and her child also through this.
RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] had a mother, wives and daughters. Where did he go after Hira? To Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her. Why? Why didn’t he go to his friend Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him)? Also at the time of his death, he said that he wanted to be taken to the room of Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her). First time the revelation came he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] found mercy and solace from the breasts of a woman and the same at the time of death. Is this a coincidence? No. RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] didn’t follow his passions and desires. Everything was a revelation. He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] knew that a woman has the strength of standing firm and possesses the characteristic of being responsible.
Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her) said, “Ya Muhammad, don’t be afraid. You do all that is good so Allah won’t do anything harmful to you.” She started covering him and comforting him.
Dawah can’t be fulfilled without a woman. Presence of this mercy and compassion in her heart is what is needed for this religion.
I travel and when I return, I find solace in my wife and tell her what occurred during my travels. In this visit, I’ll say that in Heathrow airport they made me wait for an hour and the food was strange. I reveal all my problems to her as I know she’ll listen but my friends are not that attentive and when I kiss my mother’s hands she asks, “how are you?”. She wants good for me. I cannot let go of my wife and mother as they take care of me personally not just my affairs.
May Allah make us of such women. Ameen.
States and Stations of Women – Love of the Messenger salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam
Women of this Ummah should be completely in love with RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam], as if it wasn’t for him then men would have done all sorts of things, as he can hurt and be hasty. I will not hide that a man also has a level of selfishness. RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] made us aware of rules so that we don’t surpass them.
Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) was known to be strong and harsh. Women were sitting in the company of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] and they were talking a loud voice. Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) came and asked permission to enter. When the women heard him they all went quiet. RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] started laughing so Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) asked, “Why are you laughing?” RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] replied, “the women were talking and when they heard you they stopped.” Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) got angry and said, “You are scared of me and not RasulAllah?” A woman then asked permission to reply, she spoke, “Oh Umar! You are very harsh and strong but RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] is very soft and gentle.” RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] started laughing.
A man once approached Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) and said that his wife raised her voice at him, so they stopped talking to each other. Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) replied that his wife takes him out and he’s Ameer al Mumineen (Leader of the Believers)!
He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] talked about prayer and warned that you only be good to your women. From these last words of the Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] you see that he was very concerned and worried about women. He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] was concerned about their oppression from their weaknesses. Hence, you should have immense love.
Sayyidah Umm Amara was from among the women of great states and relations from the Ansar. She would go out in all the battles. In Uhud, there were only ten companions around RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] and the mushrikeen were attacking him. She was among the ten. One of the companions said that he saw that when an arrow or blow would come she would shield him [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] from these blows and arrows so he would be safe. In the middle of this battle, he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] had immense concern for her. He would keep instructing her to turn left or right and even in this difficult time he would smile and say to her, “We have glad tidings for we have a meeting in Jannah.” She heard a rumour that he had passed away but he was actually injured. A stone had stuck his blessed forehead and he had fallen into a ditch. His blessed face had been pierced and he had broken his blessed teeth. His knees were also injured so they had to carry him towards Mt. Uhud. They couldn’t remove the metal from his blessed teeth so Abu Ubayda (May Allah be pleased with him) pulled it out with his teeth, which led Abu Ubadya (May Allah be pleased with him) to lose his teeth too. RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] was catching the blood so it couldn’t fall on the floor, since if it fell, he was worried that they would be punished. When Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) saw this, he said, “Make dua against them.” So RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] raised his hands to make dua and the companions said, “Quraysh is now finished.” The Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] then supplicated, “O Allah guide my Ummah because they don’t know what is happening.”
Umm Haram had her brother, father and son in battle. She was among the women who came out crying to Uhud after hearing about the rumour. She was approached with the news that her father had passed away. She said, “He’s with Allah (Exalted is He) and I’ll have patience, but tell me how is RasulAllah?” She was then approached with the news that her brother and son had passed away. She started screaming and replied, “Don’t you hear me? I’m asking about RasulAllah.” They said, “RasulAllah is fine. She said, “take me to him as I will not have sabr (patience) until I see him.” She saw him and wept, “Every difficulty after you, RasulAllah, is ease.” This is the love that Allah (Exalted is He) instilled in the companions. Hundreds of women were like this including the little girls.
Before reaching puberty they would say that they want to go to battle. A girl held onto the Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] and insisted to go to Khaybar. Her name was Umaymah. She said that she could do many things. When RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] saw that she was and true and sincere, he took her. When he was returning, he saw her sitting in a corner shyly. He called her, “Umaymah come.” She was shy and hid her head. He said, “Have you started your menses? Don’t worry, let it be over. You will be purified soon.” He told her to use salt to purify herself as there was limited water. From the booty of the battle, he gifted her a necklace.
This girl became old in age and on her deathbed she told her female companions to not remove this necklace as she has never taken it off and wanted to be buried with it as RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] put it on her.
Once RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] was walking to the souk (market) and saw this slave girl crying. He went to the market and bought what he needed – he had two dirhams for this purpose. He asked the girl, “why are you crying?”. Habib said that it is amazing how he approached her with limited time and spoke to her. His mercy didn’t let him ignore people. The girl said, “I went to the market to buy some things and I’ve lost the money. I am worried that they might beat me.” He bought her all that she needed and the two dirhams had finished. (He had also dropped off a garment that needed fixing prior to speaking to her) She came back crying again and said, “I’m late now.” He replied, “don’t worry, I’ll come with you.” He went with her to her house which was on the outskirts of Madinah. He gave salaam and knocked on the door. The women inside it heard but didn’t reply. His habit was to knock three times and if there was no answer he would return. This is the Sunnah. He knocked the second and third time. They opened the door and returned the salaam after the third time. They didn’t reply because they wanted more and more blessings because they knew his habit was to knock thrice. Women are intelligent sometimes. They said, “You came all this way for her. By Allah, she is free now.”
Our biggest problems are that we are forgetting love and losing the manners of RasulAllah, salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam.
If we were to love him and adopt his manners, all the problems would be rectified. He never struck anyone, except in jihad for the sake of Allah. There was a time when he slightly touched a man in his stomach with a stick as he was out of place, when lining up for Jihad. The man said, “you’ve caused me pain and I want to hit you the way you have hit me”. There was actually no pain. He said, “RasulAllah, you hit me and my stomach was exposed.” RasulAllah exposed his blessed stomach and the man began to kiss it and started rubbing his face against it. RasulAllah said, “why are you doing this?” He replied, “RasulAllah, maybe this is my last day and I wish the last thing that happens is that your skin touches my skin.”
This was the love of the companions.
RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] never made a dua against the animals.
We have to understand that there is etiquette with everything. A Muslim is full of mercy and wishes good for others. We give relief to those who distress us, as we seek the contentment and pleasure of Allah. These were the manners of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam]. All we need is good manners. We don’t want to debate but show the good character and manners of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam].
Question and Answer Session
Love for RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] is an immense thing. Love springs from 3 things:
1. Outward beauty – humans love beautiful things.
2. Perfection in qualities, like being organised and good characteristics. We love this too.
3. Those who do good to one.
You can find these in the most complete form in RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam]. He has done us the most beautiful good by guiding us to Allah (Exalted is He). The more we get to know him, the more we will love him. Can it be that a human loves something and doesn’t want to know more about it? Examples given were about a football team and gadgets.
Can it be someone loves him but months go by without him reading about his life? The important thing is that we get to learn about him and then we imitate. Then we should call people to his way and manners. We crave for his vision. May Allah grant us this love and craving. Ameen. Ameen. Ameen.
RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] was sitting with his companions and had a stick with which he was drawing in the sand. It had a sign that ‘I’m really missing my brothers.’ The companions said, “aren’t we your brothers?” He replied, “you’re my companions. My brothers will believe in me without seeing me.”
If we have this desire of seeing him, we will be his brothers/sisters. Ameen. Ameen. Ameen.
“Whoever has seen me in the dream state has truly seen me, as Shaytan cannot imitate my form.” (Bukhari)
He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] loves us more than we love him. On the Day of Judgement everyone will run and not help us due to the difficult state which is mentioned in the Qur’an – a day in which a man will run away from his brother, mother, father, spouse and offspring. No one will think about anyone else except for RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam]. All he will say is, “Ummati! Ummati! Ummati!” (My nation!)
Doesn’t he deserve our love? He is the only one who will love and pray for us on the Day of Judgement.
Two things are important for children.
1) Outlook of the parents – if you show them, they will automatically adopt it
2) Different stories especially before they sleep.
Ulema say a child is in a mind which is more receptive before he/she goes to sleep. Children are more adoptive/receptive than their parents. After sometime he/she will love RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] more than you do and will have a higher eagerness than you. You may become embarrassed when you see that your child is outdoing you. Allah will not leave you.
Habib’s children hold onto these stories and when he comes and he’s very tired they still insist to hear a story. Children are in need of these stories and news. When he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] becomes great in their lives they will start attaching themselves more. A child is very receptive.
Any mistakes, errors or misinterpretations of words are from me. Please correct me when you spot any mistakes.
Usman Ashraf said:
Pingback: Women: Great Expectations (Part 1) – Habib Muhammad as-Saggaf | Ahbabuz zahro