This topic was delivered by Habib Muhammad as-Saggaf in Regents Park Mosque(London) on 15th October 2011.
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate
All praise to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. And salutations and greetings upon our Master Muhammad and upon his family and companions.
I intend to study and teach, take and give a reminder, take and give benefit, take and give advantage, to encourage the holding fast to the book of Allah and the way of his messenger, and calling to guidance and directing towards good hoping for the countenance of Allah and His pleasure, proximity and reward, transcendent is He.
Sayyidah Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her) was the first to accept Islam and to be with him [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam]; even before the advent of the message, she was gifted with immense intelligence. She was a great merchant in Makkah and outdid all of the others. She used to get into partnerships in trade. She was the richest in Makkah – this indicates that a woman can work in trade.
She didn’t bow down or worship idols; she followed the primordial religion of Ibrahim (alayhis-salam).
When she heard about Muhammad [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] being a very trustworthy man, she tested him [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] with some goods to Syria. She told Maysara, her slave, to accompany him [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] so he would come back and tell her about the interactions. Maysara came back and explained the miracles, his excellent mannerisms and character, and the profit that was received – greater than what anyone else had brought back.
She became attached to him [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] and requested one of her friends to ask for his hand in marriage. The Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] agreed, yet made clear, “I don’t have any money.” So the lady asked, “Would you like to marry someone who is wealthy, comes from a noble lineage and has lofty manners?” The Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] replied, “Yes, every one of us would love to do so!” She said, “This is Khadija.”
The most amazing thing about her is that she never made her husband angry. None are like Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her) and none are like RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam]. RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] would also say that he never saw a women like her and she knew that he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] would have a great station.
She gave him offspring and he lived in her house. She took care of a big family which consisted of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam], Ali b. Abi Talib (May Allah be pleased with him), Zayd b. Haritha (he was adopted before Islam prohibited adoption, taking the name of one’s father), four daughters and male children that died in their early
age. She took care of this big family as well as all other the affairs of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam].
After years passed, khalwa (solitude) became dear to him. He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] used to go to Hira and stay for days. This wasn’t at all troublesome for her: she would go all the way up to give him food. Sometimes he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] would immediately descend and sometimes they would spend the night there together. The durations started increasing, reaching to a month, and sometimes even beyond that.
She took care of the business and domestic affairs until the revelation. It was as if she was waiting for it, and immediately believed in him without hesitation. She said, “Don’t worry, Allah will never put you down because you help people, you provide ease for those who fear, and you pay the poor so they become rich; you have these qualities, so Allah will never put you down.” – She had complete intelligence.
They then went to Waraqa, her cousin who was well-informed in the previous books. From that moment she devoted herself to him completely and spent her wealth in the way of RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] and his religion. He would seek solace only in Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her).
Eventually, her daughters came back to her divorced, and her money had vanished. They found themselves in this difficult situation for three years. The daughters stomachs reached their backs due to their hunger. She (May Allah be pleased with her) became sick and told them, “don’t let your father worry about me.” As soon as RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] came, she would sit up as if there was no pain and until death came she was with him [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam].
He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] never felt such sadness as he did in that year, since he was separated from the most precious thing in his life. She was like his mother, his partner in trade and dawah, and the first advisor in all his affairs. She was the companionship he would always turn back to. Every time he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] remembered her, he would shed tears.
May Allah (Exalted is He) be pleased with her and may He grant us a portion of her greatness.
Allahumma Ameen. Allahumma Ameen. Allahumma Ameen.
If there was food cooked in the house he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] would say, “Give it to the friends of Khadija.” Anytime he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] remembered an affair, he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] would remember Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her).
The Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] said to Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) something to the effect of: “By Allah, He hasn’t given me anything better than her. She believed in me when others didn’t. She was firm on me when others belied me. She devoted herself with her and her money.”
It was as if Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her) outdid all the women and as if no woman was like Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her). They all had something from her character.
When RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] came to Makkah, he entered a different route and people wondered as to the secret behind this… until they came to know he [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] wanted to pass by the grave of Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her), as she gave him everything. He [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] remained loyal until the end and always remembered her.
Whenever Habib Muhammad as-Saggaf remembers Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her) he can’t stop talking about her. She is our mother.
Question and Answer Session
Non-Muslims don’t always understand, but if the women shows modesty, shyness, gentleness, and doesn’t shake hands with the opposite gender, then it shouldn’t be difficult for them to understand. There is a way of conveying the message in a polite way. Also, there is no need to constantly explain and clarify. Don’t justify all the time and don’t worry.
You don’t have to be constantly smiling, in case there’s a mixed message between yourself and the opposite gender; but have a pleasant face. You have to take care of how you portray yourself to others.
There is a Prophetic Tradition (Hadith) about the angels not entering houses with pictures and dogs but details exist with this general rule. If a dog was present for guarding then the angels would still enter. It has been said by consensus that it is not the photo but the statue. A photograph is nothing but a mirror. The Sacred Law (Shariah) is actually very broad in these affairs.
Pictures have now become a necessity from the necessities of life.
Pictures have now become a means from the means of dawah (inviting to Allah).
For guidance we perform Istikhara then the individual sees what his heart is comfortable with and goes ahead with that. If after the third time the individual cannot decide, then he/she should choose the easier way. The sign of the permission of Allah (Exalted is He) is
facilitation. If Allah (Exalted is He) makes it easy, then go forth with it.
If you have performed your istikhara and you are not comfortable about it, then this is the answer to your istikhara.
Consult others too and perform istikhara in the affair.
It is actually recommended that you help with the poor, sick and the like. But, if you find a Muslim in this situation then it is better to help him/her. It is even better if he/she is your neighbour and your relative has more right than those mentioned previously. There is a Prophetic Tradition (Hadith) that states: Your close ones have more right over your goodness than others.
The righteous would even spend money over animals.
Habib’s grandfather would go out after tahajjud and fill water for the animals as it wasn’t easily available.
A story of a man in Jeddah: Something had happened to this man which severed his arm. The sensory veins were cut. Since the motory veins were severed, severe surgery was done to connect them back. The doctor performed the surgery and the man woke up from the sedative state. The doctor asked him, “Why is it that when I was connecting your nerves, they joined together before?” He started crying and said, “What is this good deed you do?” This patient was a common man who didn’t pray a lot [apart from the obligatory prayers]. He replied, “I like birds a lot. Every time I go to the market, I buy sick birds and tend to them and when they are well I make them fly. Then I get another one.” The doctor said, “The reason behind the success of your surgery is the care you show to these animals.” The man said, “I saw the Prophet [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] in this state and he put his blessed hand on my severed area.”
This surgery of an injury is from Allah (Exalted is He). Another thing this man does is that he sits at the feet of his mother and she makes dua (a prayer) for him and is content with him.
RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] told us a story about this woman from Bani Israel. She entered jannah (paradise) through good treatment of a dog. He was licking the wet mud near a well so she took her shoe and filled it with water and gave it to the dog. Allah (Exalted is He) forgave her and granted her jannah.
A Muslim woman imprisoned a cat until it died. Allah (Exalted is He) gave her the hellfire.
Allah (Exalted is He) is merciful and loves those who have mercy.
If marriage is facilitated for a woman, then she should go forth with it. For those who it has not been facilitated for, it shouldn’t hold them back from doing what they should be doing.
The Four Greatest Women in Islam portrayed the situation of every
Asiya (May Allah be pleased with her) had patience in the worst husband.
Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her) was married to the best man and she was the best woman.
Maryam (May Allah be pleased with her) never got married.
Fatima az-Zahra (May Allah be pleased with her) was the best daughter to the best father.
Maryam (May Allah be pleased with her) had three things:
1) She protected herself from everything prohibited (haram)
2) She served the Bayt al Maqdis, the poor and the weak
3) She had a lot of dhikr (remembrance of Allah)
Unmarried women can find many means of closeness to Allah (Exalted is He) without a man to distract her. Your spouse will always distract you.
Habib isn’t saying that the unmarried woman is superior to the married woman. Both should fulfil their rights.
How great is Islam? How great is our Nabi in teaching it?
A human is not content with what he is given, so contentment with Allah (Exalted is He) is a great quality.
There was a lady who once came to RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] and said, “I don’t like my husband.” RasulAllah [salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa alihi wa sallam] replied, “Have patience.” Then revelation came in the meaning of what came, “There may be something you don’t like but it is good for you.”
The problem is that we want our spouses to be perfect when in actual fact we aren’t ourselves. We look at what the other can offer but not what we can offer. This is the greatest sickness. We should take ourselves to account before others.
An Arab saying is: “To speak a lot is an indication of less intelligence.”
A man was considered a scholar yet his wife always argued with him. He said, “If only you could see how my students are in my lessons?” He took her and gave a long lecture. He said, “Do you see my state with the people?” She replied, “You spoke for two hours, you’re crazy.”
Preparation for the Dua
Keys to all the affairs are with Allah (Exalted is He). He is to whom we turn to. The best means for shifa (a cure), improving our states and general affairs is by having true sincerity in turning to Him. It is best to always approach Allah (Exalted is He) with prayer (dua) in all our affairs. This is why the last thing that we will do is turn to Allah. We should have complete trust and faith as He is looking and listening to our hearts and tongues. He listens to our hearts better than we are listening to His words. We should taste the sweetness for He (Exalted is He) has given permission to call hence it is a great blessing. Even if He (Exalted is He) hasn’t given, at least He (Exalted is He) has given us the ability to ask. Allah is very generous; every time we move our tongues, He gives.
May Allah (Exalted is He) allow us to be from those who have true sincerity in turning to Him (Exalted is He). Allahumma Ameen. Allahumma Ameen. Allahumma Ameen.
Any mistakes, errors or misinterpretations of words are from me. Please correct me when you spot any mistakes.